we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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