If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
