i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
