Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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