I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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