Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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