I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
