It's Friday. Sex?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
