In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
