Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
