I puked a lego.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
