Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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