There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i love accidental penises.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
