you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
