I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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