Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
