Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
