So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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