guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Found your dick twin last night
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
and you fell through a lawn chair
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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