I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
