Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
