Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
