youre lurking in front of me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
