I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im holly from the hills drunk
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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