this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
