11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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