My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
