Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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