So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
