break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
