I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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