Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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