Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
