He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
