Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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