come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
