I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
