Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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