Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
