My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
