You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
