He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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