I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
