my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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