so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
