she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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