So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
