also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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