is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Randomize