Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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