Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
