I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
