if you like me you must not know who I am
we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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