wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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